Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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