that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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