she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm at about main and main street
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
