Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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