Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
