last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
