so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
