I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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