My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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