Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's official drugs can't kill me
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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