he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
