Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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