If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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