Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
