i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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