last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
