i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
