I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
