i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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