You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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