what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
