i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
