you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
