Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
And then he peed in my hair
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