return my video game
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
