When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
