I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
