did you get engaged???
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
