No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
