oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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