the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
