she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
