Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
