did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
