i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
