i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
