I didn't shave. On purpose
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
