that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
