The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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