She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
