So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Are my feet made of real feet?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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