My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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