Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
