I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
