you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
