Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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