Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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