yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
