I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
