Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
